This quote is the perfect way to say how my last year has gone. We all encounter many struggles and hardships that we are faced with in life, but it is how we choose to face them and how we allow them to affect our lives that make the difference. It can be a positive or a negative experience for us with each struggle that we face; however, it is our choice and ours alone on what we choose to do with these struggles.
I asked for my New Year's Resolution for 2015 to be my year of change--And boy did I ever get what I asked for. Most of the changes that happened within my life have been good, while others have helped me to grow to be a better person, and others have allowed me to find "Melissa" and the strength I really hold within myself that I never quite believed was there.
It's that time of the year to be reminded just how truly blessed we all are for the loved ones, family and friends that we have in our lives. It's a time to be humble with the things that we have in our lives, to take a step back and really LOOK at those people and things and know that we have the most precious gifts this life can bring...People into our lives to share life with.
As I began to get "into the holiday spirit", and put up my tree, I was reminded of all the memories I had as a kid with decorating the tree, spending time with friends and just enjoying this "magical" time of year that has always fascinated me.
In the last year, I have began to date a very sweet guy who has been in love with me for well over 10yrs, but I never saw him as more than an "adopted little brother"...It took me to not just look at him but to really SEE him to notice that he could be the guy I have been waiting for.
I have dealt with some very personal issues that I felt were haunting me from my past, and in doing so, I have learned that I cannot go back in time to correct mistakes, I can only learn from them, and hope that I can make better ones in the future. With that being said; I am personally glad I had to go through those struggles/battles because it helped me to get to where I am today, it's helped me to become the person I am today, and the person I hope to be in my future. I realized that NOTHING short of someone or something actually killing me, will stop me or keep me down for the rest of my life. I have learned to fight back with a vengeance when adversary situations come up in my personal life, because it's when I am trapped in a corner, with nowhere to go and I just want to give up, that's when I find I have the greatest strength to just keep going.
In my life, mainly in my adult life, I have learned and witnessed the hard way how it feels to lose friends who I thought were friends, to see how differently someone treats you based on a belief, a choice, a preference or whatever it is that you have which may differ from them. This has been one of the loneliest years in my life when it comes to friends, as I felt I really didn't have those few "go to" friends that I usually have in my life for advice and other things...But because of that, my younger sister and I have developed such a strong and close relationship, more than ever, and she has been my saving grace this year. Thank You Heather for putting up with me and all my shenanigans this year. I don't know how I would have gotten through this last year without you. I love you so much and I am honored to have you as a younger sister!
In August, I turned the big 30! I had been so scared of turning 30 for the last few years of my life...But when it finally happened, I realized that I was not scared of turning 30, for 30 is but a number...What I was scared of was finding myself. This happened in the most unusual places, you know that "epiphany moment" you have at times occurred to me on my birthday in which I was working. I went to use the restroom at work, and as I was washing my hands, I looked into the mirror and said "So this is what 30 looks like...(as I took a deep breath and exhaled) I am okay with that".
The best thing about this year is knowing that I am continuously growing, learning and I will move onward to whatever dreams I have, whatever things I want to do in my life...I just have to be okay with myself, trust I know what to do and...LEAP!
This has been such an eye-opening year, and I hope that 2016 is the start of the AMAZING years of my life.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all of you.
~Melissa
