Throwback Thursday

Last night I had a desire to go through one of my old drawers that has a bunch of miscellaneous things in it. Things from extension cords, to senior pictures, to old report cards and class schedules from Middle School. As I was going through this stuff, I came across a light-blue folder that was plumped full of things. I had no idea what was in it and honestly, I forgot any of the contents that were in it. When I went through it after curiosity got the better of me, I come to find a stack of papers like this.... (See Photos Below)

 

 As I was looking through this stack of papers, I was instantly brought back to that time in my life. I remembered what school I was at, what class this was for and what teacher I had for this class. As I have stated before, music has been a huge part of my life and I think this helps to solidify that part of me as I have held onto these papers for 16 years. I am not sure why I held onto these papers all of this time, but the only thing that I can come up with is that I kept them as a reminder of this class, the fun I had in it, and how much music "saved my life" all those years ago.

I was in I think 8th grade now that I look at the date, and I was 13 years old. This time in my life with my choir class was a very "magical" time for me as I found music to be my best friend. I could relate to it and I felt music understood me. I didn't have many friends as a kid and I got bullied by my classmates so badly at school that I actually walked home a few times slightly injured from being bullied because I was too afraid to ride the bus home. I walked the mile home quite often in 7th and 8th grade because I was tormented badly and hated my life. I would constantly wonder WHY I was the one that everyone picked on and tormented? I mean I never was mean to anyone, I was what would be deemed as a "good girl" but I was never mean to anyone and tried to be nice to everyone, yes even the people who would bully me badly.

Those two years of middle school and having that choir class, spurred me on to becoming more passionate about music and the serenity it gave me then and still gives me today. I remember that teacher who I had for my choir class that year. She was a young lady, probably just graduated college not too long before this year but I remember her being so nice. Somewhere during that school year, she noticed this desire within me for music and invited me to not only try out for the Travel Choir but she also invited me to an event in Cold Spring, MN. Now, Cold Spring is only about 15 minutes from the town I live in, but for a 13 year old girl who only traveled to and from her Aunt and Uncle's house on the other side of town and to her grandparents house about 35 miles from town (on holidays), this was a cool trip and I was beyond thrilled to be asked to go! I got the opportunity to sing with the choir at this particular event and even to this day (16 years later), I can still recall clear as day that year in my life, that class, that teacher and this event because being invited to that event meant so much to me at that time in my life...

I will not disclose any names for the sake of keeping her identity private and I do not know if by some chance she will ever come across this blog or this particular post--But thank you Mrs. "Choir Teacher" from the 1998-1999 school year. After I left my middle school and went on to High school, I made sure that I was involved in choir through graduation.

...It's funny how when we are kids, we deem things that seem important to us at that time. If the significance is strong enough, we tend to keep things for whatever reason. Maybe it's to reminisce on times we really enjoyed and times of being happy? Maybe it's because something impacted or changed our lives even in a small way that we wanted to hang on to them as reminders even as we get older? For whatever that reason was, I kept those papers all of these years. Who knows, maybe it was to keep them to remind me of that time in my life that I really enjoyed and then many years later (as in today) I could write about it and share it with others.

I will hang on to these papers and the others I have because it brought me back to a time in my life when school was horrifying to go to, but even through that tough time, I found pleasure in certain things and I created my own happiness in the midst of so much hate, animosity and hostility from my peers at school.

This was the beginning of my "Musical Sanctuary" that I still hold dear to my heart and make time for in my life today. : ) I have no doubt that desire for music stemmed from these two years of pure joy I found in choir class and just in music when I felt that my world was lonely and that no one could possibly understand me or my life. : )

~Melissa